They say that you’ll never know how much you love someone until they leave you, but why is that? Why is it that we tend to hurt the people we love? And once they leave, we feel the full force of their absence. How can we, as rational people, people who want the best for ourselves, put ourselves through the misery of hurting someone we love, and facing the consequences of them leaving and shattering our world? There seems to be some sort of gap of why we do this, we don’t want to hurt the people we love, because that will eventually hurt us, but for some reason, we continue to do it.

What if the reason was a misunderstanding of our actions, what if we didn’t know the extent of hurt that we put others through. Are we that inconsiderate or uncompassionate? Or are we immature to understand some of the effects that we have on other people? Well, it’s kind of a mix of all three. It’s intent.

The intent, as I like to explain it, is wanting the best for someone. Or not wanting the worse for someone. And at times, we take actions that reflect our personal belief as of what is best for someone else. However, to put it bluntly, not always do we make to correct decision. Not always are our actions the best for someone else, even if our goal for it was.

When does intention become valid? Intention becomes valid when we gain no direct benefit, and a sacrifice is usually present. Usually, the only benefit of a valid intention is an intrinsic feeling. For instance, when you see a homeless person on the side of the road, hungry for food, shivering with fear, and desperate for company. You might go over, hand them some money or food, talk to them a bit, and leave. In this instance, you gave up time and other resources to benefit another person, what you received was inner thankfulness for what you have and a positive burst of mood. Your intention to help that person was valid because you sacrificed something and received nothing in return.

An intention that is invalid occurs when your actions are related to a benefit you are wanting to receive. For instance, if you verbally abuse someone to relieve built up stress. They there really were no benefits for the other person. You might not have intended those harsh words to be insulting and might have hoped that the other person would not take offense to it. But in this case, your intention does not matter. Your intent did not bring any benefit to the other party, and they were better off without hearing those words. The only beneficiary was you, and your insecurities.